January 2012
I gave a fiver to a dumpster diver.
“Buy something nice”
“Why buy anything? This is free rice”.
I walked by a man in a wheelchair smoking a joint and commending his leashed cat on being “such a good boy.”
San Francisco is a conservative’s nightmare.
Anonymous asked: What is up with people sending anonymous hate? That kinda bugs me. I just want you to know, that i disagree with that douche, and you shouldn't have given him the pleasure of posting his message. Of course I guess I'm not much better, being that I'm anonymous and all too. Anyway, I just you should know that you are not a monster. He/She is for saying those things.
Anonymous asked: you're a monster. i hope one day you grow up and realize your youth consisted of bad music, cheap porn, and being pathetic. have a good day.
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“Why are we both fighting, we’re both good rhymers”
– a lesson on Sesame Street that should be applied to all rap beef.
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Watch
LAT - Police say L.A. man smoked pot on Jet Blue... →
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Mashable - The Pirate Bay Wants You to Download... →
“You will download your sneakers within 20 years,” the blog post says.
At the time of this writing, the Physibles category contained just three files available for download. Included were apparent data files for a whistle, a model robot and a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle muscle car.
The Pirate Bay says that what it believes to be the imminent advent of 3D printing and file-sharing will be...
Unlike Megaupload, our business model isn’t built... →
Now that’s a headline!
“Had I made a mockery of a culture like the Choco Taco? Was...”
– MC Paul Barman
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Latin lovers vs. hipster chicks →
I wrote this thing.
Two dudes I’d never seen before were sitting at my table. They were speaking Spanish to each other; talking shit about the 14-minute noise composition that the pretentious barista insisted on playing at full volume. I joined in the conversation. I love speaking Spanish — and any excuse to talk trash on avant-garde experimental art.
Neighbors
Neighbor: Hey man are you at your apt today?
Josh: Pretty much. I have to run some errands later. What are you up to?
Neighbor: We'll I am mondo sick with a stomach flu and was wondering if I put some cash in my mailbox if you could grab me a gatorade or coke from the Cyber Cafe. I don't trust myself to make it over there.
Josh: Sure. I'll do that now.
Neighbor: Thank you I really appreciate it. Just leave the drink outside so you don't risk getting contaminated.
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Rick Santorum launches CUM: Conservatives Unite... →
LOL
joshsternberg:
Seriously.
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“254 miles to montreal so if you hate canada, your canada buffer is kinda small”
– bruce
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“A guy was sent from East Germany to work in Siberia. He knew his mail would be...”
– Slavoj Zizek, at OWS (via theendofempire)
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I submitted 2,351 stories during my tenure at... →
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Inside Breaking News: The Paterno story: What went... →
It’s fun to break news stories, and then write about how there was a problem with the initial reporting, and as a credible news source it’s important to make retractions. These meta stories quickly get forgotten. A story about a story that never happened.
Reminds me of when we tried to quell the “George Bush is going to Bomb Iran Tomorrow”.
breakingblog:
Incorrect...
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I want to write the Great American Novel-ty Store...
QueTalGuera: 6 Points On Bribing in Mexico,... →
QueTalGuera piggy-backed off my article with this very functional guide to bribing cops.
MCSWEENEY'S: RETRACTION: THERE IS IN FACT SUCH A... →
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My Friday Party Playlist →
I listen to this Spotify playlist every Friday around quitting time.
R. Kelly – Ignition Remix
DJ Quik – You’z A Ganxta
Die Antwoord – Enter The Ninja
Three 6 Mafia feat. Young Buck and Eightball & MJG – Stay Fly - Explicit Album Version
T.I. – What You Know - Explicit Album Version
Nappy Roots – Awnaw [All Hooks Up Version]
María Daniela & Su Sonido Lasser – Miedo
...
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Grammatical breakthrough!
I often write the phrase “I’m walking passed the fire hydrant.”
According to Answers.com the correct phrase is “I’m walking past the fire hydrant.”
I guess I was confused because the verb “to pass” is similar to the verb “to walk” but we’re dealing with a whole other word here: Past.
(Also isn’t it weird that I often find...
List of doughnut varieties: Controversial... →
alexlitel:
Important Wikipedia discovery of the day.
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“I’m compelled to find every word that rhymes with orange.
You might be...”
– DJ Quik - The End?
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“Mexico recognized that new technology is an “essential part of the recent...”
– Matador: Quick guide to buying counterfeit and bribing police
I wrote this article about piracy in Mexico, but I think that it has add resonance today with SOPA/PIPA/Megaupload takedowns.
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The history of audio interruptions in 2087
Vinyl skipping pop
Cassette quivering playback
CD stuttering glitch
Streaming buffering silence
File corruption bloops
Brugel formulating glyphers
Carleton sandstorm ridges
Transmutaglating respitols
Schmúrgsdäzs Lethroforms
C6H12O6 + 6O2 —> 6H2O + 6CO2